All I can say is… whew! I put all my heart into this series and it’s been one of the most gratifying projects I’ve done on Life in Spandex. Hearing how so many of you can relate and find comfort in my story is exactly why I decided to share it. It’s never easy to put something so personal out there for public opinion. I can’t thank you enough for your support!
My parents have always told me, “Every hardship in life is a growing opportunity.” I recognized this going into such a big life change and I ran with it. I left my doubts behind, put faith in the universe, and decided on the first day post split that this was the beginning of something great. I knew within the first 10 days that one of those great things would be a series for this blog.
I found immense gratitude during the fourth week post-split. I had never experienced so much support from my friends, family, and the universe. It was as if everything in my life lined up for me to thrive after the break-up. And I did. It’s been a little over four months now since we decided to part ways. I’m still flabbergasted by the growth this hardship has brought me.
So where to go from here? Well, if anything, this break up taught me that even when things are going good, there’s always room for self-improvement. There are a few things I’ve continued to do post-split to ensure I’m my best self at work, in friendships, on this blog, and in future relationships.
1. Know your self worth.
You are worth health, happiness, and love. You are worth that early morning workout so you can be your most productive and energized self. You are worth eating whole, unprocessed foods so you feel good on the inside and glow on the outside. You are worth a complete 7 to 8 hours of sleep per night. You are worth someone who’s willing to make compromises for you and completely adore you.
In all aspects of your life – career, relationships, and health – you don’t have to settle. Trust that the right job, partner, life, and so forth is out there for you. You will be shocked when you see what an open heart and mind can bring you. Start with a list of all the dealmakers and breakers in your life. Work towards your vision every day. And have the patience to wait for it.
2. Your identity goes beyond a relationship.
A lot of us have a tendency to invest so much of ourselves in a relationship we start to forget who we really are. I know I’ve been guilty of this. When we care about someone, we want to make the compromises necessary to make them happy. However, when those compromises consist of sacrificing our own well-being or principles, our self-development can get stunted.
Whether you’re single or in a relationship, think about what really makes you happy – the hobbies, people, dreams – and work towards those every day. This way you are either more likely to attract someone with similar interests and morals or you’re less likely to sacrifice them for the person you love.
3. Find a purpose.
This goes hand-in-hand with the previous. Your purpose in life should go beyond the affirmation of a partner, or anyone else. Our identities are shaped by our souls. Your soul is beautiful and the world deserves to see it.
Our souls are materialized in the work we do. Whether it be a career, volunteer work, hobbies, or anything else, find a way to bring your passions to life. Better yet, use those passions to give back and make our world a better place.
4. Always listen to Beyonce.
Yes, this is a bit cheeky, but I’m not kidding, that girl knows what she’s talking about! Her songs are aspirational, especially for women. They empower us ladies to lift each other up, embrace our bodies, believe in big dreams, and have fun along the way. She knows her worth, has a strong sense of identity, and shares her purpose to create inspiration amongst her fans.
When in doubt, the answer is always Beyonce ;).
5. Your mental and physical health go hand-in-hand.
If you’re not taking care of your body, it’s harder to take care of your mind. And visa-versa. If you’re not eating right, sleeping enough, or exercising frequently, your are more likely to feel mental instability. If you don’t take care of your mind, you’re not going to feel worth the extra effort to be your healthiest self.
For a long time, I concentrated on my physical health and neglected the mental. It worked for a while. Then it caught up with me. By adding in daily practices to find gratitude and develop my spirituality, I’ve become more centered and it shows in my body, career, and relationships.
I can’t thank you all enough for being so receptive to this series. So tell me, do you want more blog posts like this in the future? Let me know in the comment box below!
Don’t forget to subscribe below so you don’t miss a post! And please, share this with all of your friends or loved ones who may need to hear they’re not alone.
Health and happiness,